Nowhere To Go

In my dreams…

…we are happy. Extremely. Like no-care-in-the-world happy. And when I wake up and reality strikes, we are not. We’re just…. Fine.  And I don’t know if that’s supposed to be ok or not.  

I’m always waiting for my subconscious to take over (despite my insomnia) because I can again let loose myself in my dreams. I am happy in my dreams. Because things that did not, can not, have not and will not happen in real life – did happen, can happen, have happened and will happen in my dreams.   

In my dreams – you and I are together, will always be together.  In reality – well, that’s a different story.  I find solace in my dreams.  Even if it takes a while till I get to dreaming.


I guess I’ll just have to be content and see you in my dreams.  My beloved… Toby.

(It’s weird but I’ve been dreaming about him for the past two nights or so and happy in the dreams about it.) 

Nowhere To Go · Random Thoughts

Why is it that I feel somehow like this?

She was in her own thoughts as he quietly left their apartment. Or should she say, her apartment. Suddenly she realized what she had given up. She had given up a man who was handsome, intelligent, charming, witty and rich for a man who was biding his time at her house pretending to be her boyfriend while he waited for his lover to divorce the only thing that was getting in the way of their love.

Man had she been played.

Hopefully…it wasn’t too late.

Funny how I was able to relate to this particular scene in a fanfiction that I’m reading right now.  Only thing is – I don’t have that “handsome, intelligent, charming, witty and rich man” to give up for a “pretend-boyfriend” who decided to go to his original lover when the situation presented itself.  The situation is just pretty much familiar still.


This particular scene is from the story “I Love You but Who Are You?” by hermdrayreturns over at